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Youdontactuallyknowwhatyourfutureselfwants
WhenIwas12yearsold,Ifracturedmyfootplayingsoccer.IdidnttellmyparentswhenIgot
homethatnight,becausethenextday,mydadwastakingmetoseeamovie,asoccermovie.I
worriedthatifItoldmyparentsaboutthefoot,theywouldtakemetoseeadoctor.Ididntwant
toseeadoctor,Iwantedtoseethemovie.
shoe.
Themoviewasspectacular.Ittoldthestoryofsomeofsoccersgreateststars,greatBrazilian
players.Iwasecstatic.Attheendofthemovie,Itoldmydadaboutthefoot;hetookmetosee
anorthopedicdoctor,whoputmyfootinacastforthreeweeks.
Itellyouthestorytoday,becausefourdecadeslater,Idontreallyconsidermyselfasoccerfan
anymore.Today,mysportsfandomistunedtoanotherkindoffootball.Nowmy12-year-oldself
wouldntjustfindthisincomprehensible.My12-year-oldselfwouldseethisasabetrayal.
Nowyoumightsayweallchangefromthetimeweare12,soletmefast-forwardadecade.
WhenIwas22,IwasafreshlymintedelectronicsengineerinsouthernIndia.Ihadnoideathat
threedecadeslater,IwouldbelivingintheUnitedStates,thatIwouldbeajournalist,andthatI
toapplypsychologicalsciencetoourlives.Nowwedidn’thavepodcastswhenIgraduatedfrom
college.Wedidn’twalkaroundwithsmartphonesinourpockets.Somyfuturewasnotjust
unknown;itwasunknowable.
Allofushaveseenwhatthisislikeinthelastthreeyears,asweslowlytryandemergefromthe
COVIDpandemic.Ifwethinkaboutthepeopleweusedtobethreeyearsago,beforethe
pandemic,wecanseehowwehavechanged.Wecanseehowanxietyandisolationand
upheavalsinourlivesandlivelihoods,howthishaschangedus,changedouroutlook,changed
ourperspective.Butthereisaparadoxhere,andtheparadoxiswhenwelookbackwar
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