幽默英语故事.docxVIP

幽默英语故事 ：What are the Two Words? A very nice old lady had a few words to say to her granddaughter. My dear, said the old lady, I wish you would do something for me. I wish you would promise me never to use two words. One is ‘lousy’ and the other is ‘swell’. Would you promise me that? Why, sure, Granny, said the girl. What are the two words? 一个非常和蔼的老夫人有几句话要对她的孙女说。我亲爱的，老夫人说，我希望你能帮我一个忙。我要你答应永远不要用两个词，一个是“讨厌的”，另一个是“极好的”。你能答应我吗? 噢，当然，奶奶。女孩说：是哪两个词? ：奇猜异想 Our physics professor was struggling to draw the class into discussion of Archimedes principle of water displacement. He told us that Archimede noticed that when he got into a pool at the public bathhouse, the water rose spilling over the edge. Excited at his discovery, he ran down the street yelling, Eureka, eureka! The instructor asked if anyone knew what that meant. One student stood up and answered, Im naked ! Im naked! 我们的物理教授千方百计引导我们讨论阿基米德的排水原理。他告诉我们阿基米德去公共浴池洗澡，他进入池子，发现水涨高了，溢出池沿。他对这一发现十分激动，跑到街上高叫：“Eureka，Eureka!”教授问我们谁知道他喊的是什么意思。 一个学生站起来答道：“我光屁股啦，我光屁股啦!” ：离婚 A husband and wife,both 91,stood before a judge,asking for a divorce.I dont understand,He said,Why do you want a divorce at this time of life? the husband explained Well , you see,We wanted to wait until the children died. 有一个丈夫和妻子都是91岁，他们站在法官面前，要求离婚。“我不明白，”法官说，“你们为什么到了这把年纪还要离婚?” 丈夫解释道：“嗯，你是知道的，我们以前是哟等到孩子们都死了。” ：A Man Who Said No 说不的男子 A friend of mine noticed a man staggering about in the Times Square subway station. A well-dressed Wall Street type, his coat was unbuttoned, a briefcase dangled from his hand and hed obviously had one too many. Asked if he was all right, the man gave a slurred but affirmative response. However, my friend simply could not see someone brave the rough maw of a New York subway without trying to help. He followed the chap, and again asked, Are you sure youre all right? What subway are you looking for? Do you need help getting home? At last, the object of his att