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801 The One After I Do
801 The One After I Do
[Scene: The Wedding Hall, Monica and Chandler have just said I do, and the photographer is taking the required pictures. First of Monica, Chandler, Ross and Joey.]
Photographer: Great. (Takes a picture.) Great! Just give me a sec to change film.
Monica: Okay.
Ross: (To Monica) Okay, I know I’m not supposed to know, but I do. And I’m so excited for you!
Joey: What? What’s going on?
Ross: Monica’s pregnant!
Joey: Oh my God! Is that why you guys had to get married?!
Monica: Guys! I’m not pregnant.
Joey: Ah. (To Chandler) Slow swimmers? (Chandler looks at him.)
Ross: What?! What do you mean? You-you-you’re not pregnant?
Monica: You didn’t tell anybody I was did you?!
Ross: No! (Pause) I’ll be right back. (Exits.)
Photographer: Now why don’t we get a shot of just Monica and the bloody soldier.
Monica: (To Joey) Oh, about that. Joey, you have to change before the party.
Joey: I can’t! I-I don’t have any other clothes here.
Monica: Find some! Please! Anything that doesn’t say I-I died tragically in France. (Joey leaves to find clothes.)
Photographer: Well then why don’t we see the bride and the groom and the bridemaids.
Phoebe: Okay. (Phoebe and Rachel join Monica and Chandler on the altar.) Hey Mon, why did you tell the guys you weren’t pregnant?
Monica: Because I’m not.
Phoebe: We found your test in the trash, if you’re not pregnant—(She sees Rachel shaking her head)—It’s because I am.
(Flash, the photographer takes a picture of Monica and Chandler’s stunned faces.)
Chandler: What?! What are you talking about?
Monica: What are you talking about?
Phoebe: Yes, I…I am with child. (Flash) And I didn’t want to say anything because it’s your day; I didn’t want to steal your thunder.
Monica: Wait a minute! So you told people I was pregnant?! (Flash) Does this look like a conversation that I want to remember?!
Chandler: Who’s the father?
Monica: Yeah!
Phoebe: I can’t say.
Monica: Why?!
Chandler: Why not?
Phoebe: I can’t say because h
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