What Does It Really Mean to Grow Old年迈到底意味着什么.docVIP

What Does It Really Mean to Grow Old In my late fifties, and then my sixties, I heard, I cant believe youre that old. You dont look that old. At first that felt like praise. Then I became a bit uneasy. It reminded me of early pre-feminist days when I was complimented by some men for being smarter, and more independent than those other women. Slowly other experiences began to accumulate, reminding me of a real change in my life status. First, I moved. And while I found easy acceptance among older people in the community, when younger people talked to me they invariably would say something like, You remind me of my grandmother. Grandmother?! I felt like I had been given a label and my position lowered somehow. Recently, I have, in fact, become a grandmother. I found most young friends expected me — automatically — to be a certain way. Many of those expectations were in accord with what I felt. Some were not. I did not instantly fall in love with my grandson. I was much more drawn to my daughter and what she was experiencing. I must admit that I am now a devoted grandmother, but being put in a particular category about that bothered me, as though all of my reactions could be known in advance and belonged to the general group grandmother rather than to me. I lost some money recently through bad judgment and suddenly had the realization that I would never be able to replace it. I do not have enough time left to be able to earn that money again. I looked in the mirror and saw lots of wrinkles. I had a hard time fitting that outward me with the me inside. I felt like the same person, but outside I looked different. I checked into a face lift, with much unease. What a piece of marketing took place in that doctors office! He told me he would make me less strange to myself. I would look more like I felt! I became frightened by the whole process. Who was I then? This face? What I felt like inside? How come the two images were not connected? My ow